Pokerface

The past few days has been... Unsettling, disappointing, nerve-wrecking, gut-spewing, teeth-clenching, and all the other extreme emotions jumbled up together.

There isn't just one reason as to why I'm feeling this way. In fact, there is more than one reason. However, most, if not all of the reasons evolve around the people that I have been with lately.


I do not really know how to put this gently, but its upsetting to see how some people ignore other people's feelings just for the sake of accomplish. I know I'm no Mohandas Ghandi, but I think everyone deserves a second chance, especially when they're sincere about helping out.

I mean, one should not judge another person's capabilities just by the grades they're getting right? It's just not fair that way, because you never know what he/she is good at.

But what's upsetting was not the way they were judged, by the way the rest reacted when they volunteered to help out, to LIGHTEN OUR load.

The look on everyone's face left me speechless, and I for once, did not know what to say. And you know what's the worst part? It's that those who were judged were actually the first to notice the change in reaction. Do you know how hurt they were? Couldn't everyone at the very least try to put on a poker face?

I shan't go on about this, because if I do, I'd simply be creating a battlefield in my head.

Think before you speak

Not too long ago, a lecturer of mine handed an article to each of my classmates and I. The article was about making judgments and assumptions. As most of you would know, assumptions are beliefs or ideas that we feel hold some truth behind it, but it is usually supported by little or no evidence at all. Making assumptions of jumping to conclusions was not my cup of tea, and I suppose, anyone else, and so, I was growing more and more annoyed with the article which constantly brought up the topic of us being so oblivious to the fact that we were making assumptions of almost everyone and everything around us.

I wondered: Are we REALLY that oblivious?

As I continued reading, I came across the picture that was placed in the middle of the article. it was a picture of a family, but it was an odd picture. There was a kid who was sitting in a corner of the room, a lady draped in cloth, and a man looking at the lady. Immediately, thoughts started racing through my mind.

Was the child abandoned? Why was he looking so sad? Something bad must've happened.
Why was the lady draped in cloth? Is she a model? Or was she trying to be seductive?
What about the man? Why was he staring at the lady?

At the very moment, I snapped back to reality and to tell you the truth, I wanted to bitch slap myself hard. Just a few moments ago, I was being in denial, telling myself that only ignorant people were the ones who made judgments and assumptions without actually verifying the information. And here I was, making up my own tale of who did what and so on.

I was such a fool

It was then that I realized that what the article said was true, that we were so used to making assumptions and passing judgments, that we sometimes fail to notice that we are actually doing it.

Just take this for example:

You're walking around in a park, when you spot a gorgeous lady (whether you're a guy or a girl) and you immediately assume that a) she's taken b) She's rich and is high maintenance or c) She's too stuck-up. So you continue walking, ignoring her.

Then up ahead, you notice a group of guys charging towards you. You look around, panic, and then realize that they weren't after you, nor were they trying to run you over. They actually separated or diverted directions to avoid bumping into you.

And what about that old man with the young hot babe? Either she's after his cash or he's a perv. Am I right?


Even when you're driving, you assume that the other drivers on the road would follow the traffic and speed limit, and even direction so as to avoid collisions. But in this case, your assumptions are right most of the time. But when it's wrong, it can become deathly.

In conclusion? Stop making freakin' assumptions of everyone and everything, or else...

It'll make an ass out of you and me, because ASSUME is after all ASS+U+ME.

Till then.


Loves.

Interviews

Interviews are my worst nightmare (other than having the lady from Ring crawl out of my TV, Chuckie to be under my bed, Freddy Krueger to live in my dreams, and Bloody Mary to live in my mirror and scary midget demonic clowns hopping /running around with minituare daggers all happening at the same time. Right Syuh?).





And I dread interviews so much. Why? It is actually not the fear of being rejected during the interview, but rather, not being prepared to give a speech about myself. I am fine with the fact that they ask questions that require me to state my point of view.

However, the killer question during the interview would have to be "Tell me about yourself". Trust me, if you were my interviewer, you'd pretty much want to smack me on the head. Because I always emphasize on the 'wrong' things.

Like in a recent interview that I went to, I was asked to tell them more about myself. And as always, I startd off with my interest. Soon enough, I landed myself in the "I appreciate Arts, but it wouldn't seem like the 'usual' Arts to some, because I enjoy tattoos and body piercings". And then, totally in my own zone, I'll relate incidents (sometimes even chuckling to myself) or events where I got to see beautiful art pieces (the tattoos and body piercings) up close and personal. And I even talked about wanting to head to Thailand to check out the Vegetarian festival because of the body piercings they do there.

The awkwardness would only come when I look up at them, to only see a horrified/bewildered face staring back at me.



And if that isn't bad enough, I have the habit of saying "Errhhh...", "Urm...." and even "And so on", so much that even I find it irritating.

Interviewer: So tell me something about yourself.

Me:I enjoy sports because I think that it is one of the few ways to unleash my potential without having to be judged based on my looks and speech. It also takes my mind of off things and so on.

If I were the interviewer, i'd simply shoot back with a "What the heck is so on?".

Thankfully, all the interviews that I have been to, have nice interviewers.
Why oh why must they have interviews for so many events? It's not as if we're attending some beauty pageant or anything like that. True, we'll be asked questions that require to be answered on the spot, but never something that suggests telling them more about myself.


But then again, it's funny as I relate the entire scenario back at home. I guess I'm so used to the fact that my family accepts Art and are really open-minded, that I relate my opinions just like how I do it at home. And it beats giving beauty pageant answers.





I think most of my classmates know about that part already, if they've been reading my answers on the various articles posted on MEL. And of course, my friends who may know too much about me and my point of view. Hahah!

And other than finding difficulty in giving almost perfect answers to the random questions, I still have no idea why people find it hard to accept those with piercings/tattoos/weird sense of dressing (Weird/unique, you decide).

No matter how much we try to not judge a book by its cover, we always end up doing it.

And sometimes, I hate myself for doing so because when placing myself in that person's shoes, I'd never want anyone to judge me/think of me/ treat me like how I do to some.

Ridiculous.

And now you know, as to why I hate going to interviews. And it's because of interviews that always make me miss fruitful experiences and adventures.

I do hope that I can conquer this fear, or at least find a better answer to the questions soon. Or else, I'm screwed for future careers.


Till then.



Loves.

Making Frienemies

After the third week of school, I am proud to say that I finally am acknowledged in school!

Apparently during one of the lessons where we had to reveal an information about a classmate that no one else knew, a classmate of mine remarked that I had a very weird sense of dressing.


That comment then erupted into a class discussion where people added that I dressed very "Hawaiian" like, and some even said that it was their first time seeing someone who dresses like me!




No, I did not dress like that.


But why am I still so chirpy about my class's comments? Well, it just shows that I am not a trend follower, but rather a trend setter! I think I look good in how I dress, and finally people know of my existence in school! Weird or not, it depends on their taste of style. As for me, I accept weird as a compliment, because it brings me a step closer to being unique. Don't you think so?


So, a quick recap of the previous week, I made an entire or rather, most of the seniors in this particular club hate me. And the funny thing is, I did not even get a chance to annoy them. In fact, I had no chance to interact with them at all! The power of assumptions my friends, it can kill.

Then I had classmates discuss about my dressing style (as a class, with my lecturer!) as though I was a subject.






I have a strong feeling that people would idolize my dressing sense soon. Just you wait.


Oh, and I made tonnes of enemies with random perverts that added me/ I added when I engaged with them flirtatiously day after day before finally scaring them away when I claimed that I was the person that was in this photo:




Sadly, I did not save any of the chats that I had with them.

But what I did not understand was why they did not get the hint when I said that I loved 'slobbering myself in hot creamy butter', and 'jiggling my voluptuous gems at men'.

They must have thought of otherwise when all I intended to do was to speak the truth and nothing but the truth. Oh well...



But, there is actually one it that it absolutely mind-boggling to me. I actually made an enemy with someone when I showed him my actual photograph. How can?!?!







This person was actually a secondary school senior that I have never met before. We started off pretty okay, with random conversations here and there. Then there was the grand moment when he asked whether he could see my photograph. I told him that he could get it off of Facebook but he insisted that I send one to him.

Foolishly, I did. But that was where it pretty much ended. Apparently, he was someone who 'Anti's people like me; people who like piercings, tattoos and appreciate the various types of arts that are pretty much still a taboo around the world.




This (above) my friends, is just one of the many piercings carried out during the 'Vegetarian Festival' in Thailand.


Thus seeing that I had a lip piercing, dyed hair and so much more, he was pretty much enraged, and asked if I had any more piercings or tattoos.


Feeling that it was unnecessary for me to respond and be judged by what I look like, I simply ended the conversation with a "Go to hell. I don't see why you must make a big deal with what I like. You make it seem as though you need to control me. Like hello? I don't go around asking you/comparing you with the things I like or don't like. I just don't judge people like that. Dumb ass. Go bitch about anti-ing me to someone else, I don't give two f*cks about it".






Don't get this wrong. I'm actually a very nice person. That is, if you don't judge me for how I look/without getting to know me better lah.



Loves.

Treatment

When I started this blog (Sitandwhine), I wanted a goal for it, or rather, for myself. It wasn't about hitting the most visits per day, nor was it of me wanting people to talk about my posts while on the streets in Singapore.

It was more like (from my blog's introduction. And The 2 questions were "Have you found joy in your life?" and "Have your life brought joy to others?") bringing joy to my life and to others through my posts, where I share information not only about my life but also about others, as well as opinions too.


But over the year, this goal kept slipping away from my reach, making it harder to get any step closer to my goal.

This went as horrendous as making up revengeful things(like the "water treatment") to do to people my friends and I disliked. But we often ended up bursting in laughter, with nothing much done. But come to think of it, it still isn't very pleasant.


The thought of not helping those whom I felt were deserving still lingered in my head, until one day, when i received this email.

Five (5) lessons to make you think about the way we treat people.

___

1 - First Important Lesson - Cleaning Lady.

During my second month of college, our professor
gave us a pop quiz. I was a conscientious student
and had breezed through the questions until I read
the last one:

'What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?'

Surely this was some kind of joke. I had seen the
cleaning woman several times. She was tall,
dark-haired and in her 50's, but how would I know her name?

I handed in my paper, leaving the last question
blank. Just before class ended, one student asked if
the last question would count toward our quiz grade.

'Absolutely,' said the professor. 'In your careers,
you will meet many people. All are significant. They
deserve your attention and care, even if all you do
is smile and say 'hello.'

I've never forgotten that lesson. I also learned her
name was Dorothy.

___

2. - Second Important Lesson - Pickup in the Rain

One night, at 11:3 0 p.m., an older African American
woman was standing on the side of an Alabama highway
trying to endure a lashing rainstorm. Her car had
broken down and she desperately needed a ride.
Soaking wet, she decided to flag down the next car.
A young white man stopped to help her, generally
unheard of in those conflict-filled 60s.. The man
took her to safety, helped her get assistance and
put her into a taxicab.

She seemed to be in a big hurry, but wrote down his
address and thanked him. Seven days went by and a
knock came on the man's door. To his surprise, a
giant console color TV was delivered to his home. A
special note was attached..

It read:
'Thank you so much for assisting me on the highway
the other night. The rain drenched not only my
clothes, but also my spirits. Then you came along.
Because of you, I was able to make it to my dying
husband's bedside just before he passed away.. God
bless you for helping me and unselfishly serving
others.'

Sincerely, Mrs. Nat King Cole.

___

3 - Third Important Lesson - Always remember those who serve.

In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less,
a 10-year-old boy entered a hotel coffee shop and
sat at a table. A waitress put a glass of water in front of him..

'How much is an ice cream sundae?' he asked.

'Fifty cents,' replied the waitress.

The little boy pulled is hand out of his pocket and
studied the coins in it.

'Well, how much is a plain dish of ice cream?' he inquired.

By now more people were waiting for a table and the
waitress was growing impatient.

'Thirty-five cents,' she brusquely replied.

The little boy again counted his coins.

'I'll have the plain ice cream,' he said.

The waitress brought the ice cream, put the bill on
the table and walked away. The boy finished the ice
cream, paid the cashier and left. When the waitress
came back, she began to cry as she wiped down the
table. There, placed neatly beside the empty dish,
were two nickels and five pennies..

You see, he couldn't have the sundae, because he had
to have enough left to leave her a tip.

___

4 - Fourth Important Lesson. - The obstacle in Our Path.

In ancient times, a King had a boulder placed on a
roadway. Then he hid himself and watched to see if
anyone would remove the huge rock Some of the
king's wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by
and simply walked around it. Many loudly blamed the
King for not keeping the roads clear, but none did
anything about getting the stone out of the way.

Then a peasant came along carrying a load of
vegetables. Upon approaching the boulder, the
peasant laid down his burden and tried to move the
stone to the side of the road. After much pushing
and straining, he finally succeeded. After the
peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed
a purse lying in the road where the boulder had
been. The purse contained many gold coins and a note
from the King indicating that the gold was for the
person who removed the boulder from the roadway. The
peasant learned what many of us never understand!

Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve our condition.

___

5 - Fifth Important Lesson - Giving When it Counts...

Many years ago, when I worked as a volunteer at a
hospital, I got to know a little girl named Liz who
was suffering from a rare & serious disease. Her only
chance of recovery appeared to be a blood
transfusion from her 5-year old brother, who had
miraculously survived the same disease and had
developed the antibodies needed to combat the
illness.. The doctor explained the situation to her
little brother, and asked the little boy if he would
be willing to give his blood to his sister.

I saw him hesitate for only a moment before taking a
deep breath and saying, 'Yes I'll do it if it will
save her.' As the transfusion progressed, he lay in
bed next to his sister and smiled, as we all did,
seeing the color returning to her cheek. Then his
face grew pale and his smile faded.

He looked up at the doctor and asked with a
trembling voice, 'Will I start to die right away'.

Being young, the little boy had misunderstood the
doctor; he thought he was going to have to give his
sister all of his blood in order to save her but he had chosen to save her anyway.

This totally changed my conception of helping people out. Who are we to judge who's worth it or not? But as mush as I want to help, I still find helping strangers way easier and less complaining, than helping our own kin. But I'm still trying to change that concept!



Loves.