Think before you speak

Not too long ago, a lecturer of mine handed an article to each of my classmates and I. The article was about making judgments and assumptions. As most of you would know, assumptions are beliefs or ideas that we feel hold some truth behind it, but it is usually supported by little or no evidence at all. Making assumptions of jumping to conclusions was not my cup of tea, and I suppose, anyone else, and so, I was growing more and more annoyed with the article which constantly brought up the topic of us being so oblivious to the fact that we were making assumptions of almost everyone and everything around us.

I wondered: Are we REALLY that oblivious?

As I continued reading, I came across the picture that was placed in the middle of the article. it was a picture of a family, but it was an odd picture. There was a kid who was sitting in a corner of the room, a lady draped in cloth, and a man looking at the lady. Immediately, thoughts started racing through my mind.

Was the child abandoned? Why was he looking so sad? Something bad must've happened.
Why was the lady draped in cloth? Is she a model? Or was she trying to be seductive?
What about the man? Why was he staring at the lady?

At the very moment, I snapped back to reality and to tell you the truth, I wanted to bitch slap myself hard. Just a few moments ago, I was being in denial, telling myself that only ignorant people were the ones who made judgments and assumptions without actually verifying the information. And here I was, making up my own tale of who did what and so on.

I was such a fool

It was then that I realized that what the article said was true, that we were so used to making assumptions and passing judgments, that we sometimes fail to notice that we are actually doing it.

Just take this for example:

You're walking around in a park, when you spot a gorgeous lady (whether you're a guy or a girl) and you immediately assume that a) she's taken b) She's rich and is high maintenance or c) She's too stuck-up. So you continue walking, ignoring her.

Then up ahead, you notice a group of guys charging towards you. You look around, panic, and then realize that they weren't after you, nor were they trying to run you over. They actually separated or diverted directions to avoid bumping into you.

And what about that old man with the young hot babe? Either she's after his cash or he's a perv. Am I right?


Even when you're driving, you assume that the other drivers on the road would follow the traffic and speed limit, and even direction so as to avoid collisions. But in this case, your assumptions are right most of the time. But when it's wrong, it can become deathly.

In conclusion? Stop making freakin' assumptions of everyone and everything, or else...

It'll make an ass out of you and me, because ASSUME is after all ASS+U+ME.

Till then.


Loves.

Awkward

Every year, around this time, I feel like a little mouse(it's just an example) that is lost in the huge world. It seems as though this month has estranged me from the world, from people especially. I feel all self-conscious and quiver at the sight of someone trying to fathom my motives whenever I was in a shop.


Okay, so maybe all that was an exaggeration, but I do feel nervous whenever the thought of having to leave home to get stuff invades my mind. Why feel nervous only during this time? Well, in case you guys didn't know, 'this time' actually refers to the fasting month, or rather Ramadhan.


It's uncomfortable whenever the fasting month comes around. You see, I'm not a Muslim nor do I fast, but I do look like one (fortunately or unfortunately. In this case, slightly towards the latter). Don't get me wrong, I'm no racist, nor do I have an issue with the Muslim community or any sort. I just have an issue with all the assuming that going on, and being accused of something that I'm not.


I don't want to sound all negative (and I'm not accusing all Muslims to being judgmental) but I'm really sick and tired of being stared at, as though I'm a spawn of Satan, whenever I go into MacDonald's to buy myself an ice cream sundae.


I bet most of you would go "Aiyah, just eat lah. Care for what... You not Malay, so no need to worry about eating in public".


Well, apparently, that's where you're wrong. When I tried to heed that advice a couple of years ago, I was smacked by an old lady with her umbrella for eating ice cream at a bus-stop. Despite the many attempts to explain that I was not a Muslim, all I got back was a nasty glare by those at the bus stop, and a few curses from the old lady. Being hit for nothing when I'm the innocent party.


And then there were the countless times where annoyed staffs decided to confront or rather interrogate me as to why I'm not fasting and still had the nerve to order food in public. Not only would I get bad service, but they'd also shake their heads as they dismiss my reason as a lame excuse.

I can't eat, drink or buy food whenever it's not time for break fast. I don't intend on hanging my I.C around my neck wherever I go, but I don't think it's fair for people like me to be held back from ordering food just because we look like a Muslim.


Stop assuming and go live your own life.

Capabilities

Capabilities

(From Dictionary.com)

1.	the quality of being capable; capacity; ability: His capability was unquestionable.

2.	the ability to undergo or be affected by a given treatment or action: the capability of glass in resisting heat.

3.	Usually, capabilities. qualities, abilities, features, etc., that can be used or developed; potential: Though dilapidated, the house has great capabilities.

4. A talent or ability that has potential for development or use. Often used in the plural: a
student of great capabilities.
5. The capacity to be used, treated, or developed for a specific purpose: nuclear capability.







Capabilities, to me, are hidden talents that people rarely notice, until you show it off. Superman for instance, was a nobody. Until he helped save his town.




Capabilities does not necessarily mean of Heroes saving the day, or Superman's super powers, or even Spiderman's climbing ability. It can actually mean of skills like:

• Being a great leader

• Dealing with stress

• Working in fast paced environment

• Grabbing people's attention

• And even bottling up your emotions so as not to be easily emotional and affected.

Yes, these are great capabilities. But sometimes we are so driven and engrossed in showing people of our capabilities that we fail to notice that we are heading into the trap of "kay kiang", where we perform task that are way beyond our abilities and thus, mocking ourselves infront of everyone.



Thus this leads on to another point: Showing off.

It can be a good thing, because you get to impress people with your skills and abilities. You gain recognition and self esteem as you escalate on the road to success.

However, it can also be a bad thing. Like I said, upon gaining recognition, you, in fact all of us, would begin being ignorant and boastful, adding words into your own mouths. Thus, when you "kay kiang" too much, people begin to lose faith in you. And start believing that you are good for nothing, an empty vessel who boasts alot.


But this brings you back to square one. If you show off, you'll be an ass. But then again, if you don't show off, who'd notice your capabilities?




This week has left me in a rather dampen mood because of assumptions that people had of me. A close one, in fact, a kin of mine, went around rattling to others that I was a failure because I quit my job.

He assumed that the reason why I quit was because I could not handle the stress, which was indeed false. I loved the job, and the animals, but it was too mundane for me, and that was why I quit. It wasn't because I was stressed, in fact, I do love working in stressful environments as it challenges me to unleash my potential.


And he, without asking me for the reason why I quit, began lecturing my mom about how much she pampered me and that I was easily affected by stress.


It hurts sometimes to know of a kin who doesn't really spend time knowing me better, in the things I like and soar in, and the things I don't. It hurts even more when he goes around jumping at conclusions, exaggerating about stuff, and even accuse us (my borthers and I) of things.


But it hurts the most when he terms us harshly as good-for-nothings, rot-to-death and even claimed that he is worried for our future, given the fact that we "can't" cope with what the REAL world has in store for us.


I just wish sometimes, for a simple gesture of encouragement from him. But wishing for that seems to much, coming from him.




Loves.