A quick update on my life.
This week was pretty much a downside for me.
The 'highlight' of the week that left me downhearted would have to be the event on Thursday. I would not be revealing the details as to what happened exactly nor would I be revealing who were involved. In fact, I myself am not sure who were involved, other than myself of course.
What was so bad that it nearly brought me to tears? Well, let me just give a brief description of it (yes, the influence of presentations and summaries.).
I was practically defamed by a group of 'Seniors'.
I was criticized from head to toe. Nothing was left untouched. I was criticized for pretending to be really good at this certain skill when I am actually not. The remarks of not having any friends in this certain organization seemed amusing to them. Apparently I was trying to hard to have the 'look' that I was pretty fake to them (dry fit and FBT shorts were attacked too). Even my shoe was criticized, because they felt that I did not deserve to wear such shoes which was only for certain skilled people.
And you know what was damn bloody irritating? They tried chasing me away from where I was sitting, by constantly stepping back from their spot, to where I was sitting. So much that I had to shift myself away.
What was agonizing was not only the fact that I was sitting alone the entire time while they critiqued me, but also because none of them knew me at all, needless to say my name, background and capabilities, and yet i was rudely mocked at, for something they assumed was true, which in actual fact, is not at all.
But what was funny was that, they actually were conversing in Mandarin, and thinking that I was a Non-Chinese, they rattled away, critiquing me till they could not find anything else on me to pick on.
The start of Thursday had already been a bad day, and I did not need any more issues added. But I guess I have a strong magnetic field to it, and this happened. Frustrated, I couldn't help but 'replay' all the bad stuff that happened ( I have this habit of replaying scenes, be it good or bad.) on that very Thursday. As much as I tried to stay strong, (it's sickening sometimes to have never ending issues, both at home and in school. And worst if you're not able to help or even solve it. This does not apply to simply obstacles. And of course, everyone has obstacles in their life, that's just part and parcel of Life, right?) I couldn't help but blink away the tears because I did not want to raise the white flag.
Yes, the average human's instant reaction would be: "@#$%&*, screw them all!", followed by stomping off with your bag.
But you know what, I stayed on. No, not because I am stupid. But because I live for passion and for nothing else. Why should I let myself be demoralized and avoid something that I love, just because of immature imbeciles like them?
At the very least, I got to know how people think of me by my first impression. And if the morning 'events' hadn't ruined my day, I would have even chuckled with them, adding on that I looked disastrous with my unkempt hair and hole in my lip (I took out my lip stud because I didn't want to risk having my lips torn). And it would have been an epic moment to see their shocked faces, that the person that they were talking about actually understood what they were saying!
Yes, I do regret not doing that. Doesn't it just suck sometimes when you've done something, and after thinking it over, you wished you reacted differently?
But anyhow, I can't be bothered anymore. Because the matter was brought up during their debriefing (yes, I complained. I was in the whine-y, child-like mood. And the watery eyes made things easier, but more attention seeking-like for me. I just couldn't help it.).
And of course, this matter would not have been solved if not for Fann, Ina, Gina, Janice (all of them were there to comfort, encourage and support me as to not give up) and this other guy (which I have no idea what his name is).
And I'm doing pretty fine now. In fact, I find it amusing.
It was hilarious recalling how I reacted to it. In fact, the entire scene was funny. They should submit this scenario to FMyLife. Purely Epic.
It should go something like this :
"My friends and I were making fun of this girl while standing infront of her. She looked like a Malay, so we babbled on and on in Mandarin. We criticized every single detail about her, from head to toe. Nothing was left untouched. We had a blast, and we spoke superbly loud because we knew that she did not understand us. But halfway through the training, she actually spoke in Mandarin, and after training, our 'leader' confronted us with this issue. F*ck Our Lives."
Putting all these aside (retarded imbeciles shall not be acknowledged. Don't you agree?), the rest of the week was pretty okay. I had attachment on Tuesday, and boy, was the kids lovely!
School work is piling up, I seriously need to strategise and plan my daily time-table properly. If not, I'll land back to where I was during the Prelims; Pathetic.
I'll end here for now. Remember people, the next time you wish to bad-mouth someone, don't do it infront of that person lah.
Loves.
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