Oh Holy... Holidays

Holidays, or term breaks always put me in a dilemma, where I constantly measure the good vs. bad of it.

The one thing that I can't stand the most, is, Door Harassment. Where kids around my age come knocking on the door, asking, then begging, and lastly irritating us to buy the products that they are made to sell.


But hey, I was once like them too. Hahah, but it did not last long because I could not stand how much I had to irritate them in order for someone to buy something from me.


But I still think that companies should stop all these nonsense.

Dreams

Have you ever slept in bed, only to wake up from the oddest dream you have ever had?

sleeping by *Coffee-Monster on deviantART


Dreams.. What do they really mean?

(From Wikipedia.org):

Dreams are sequence images, sounds and feelings experienced while sleeping, particularly strongly associated with rapid eye movement sleep. The contents and biological purposes of dreams are not fully understood, though they have been a topic of speculation and interest throughout recorded history. The scientific study of dreams is known as oneirology.




It may sound pretty strange, but I have been having the same dream every single night. And it is either a repeat of the dream, or a continuation (like a series) of the dream.

I wouldn't say that it is enjoyable, because it's about being in a relationship with someone I know, someone that I wouldn't say I like a lot.

But in the dream, everything seems so real, from where our hands met, to the places we went.

It's kind of freaky. And every since last week(when I had been getting the same dream), I try to delay my sleeping time, or better yet, not fall asleep at all. Because every time I fall asleep, the same dream appears.


So what does this dream really mean?

My mum thinks it has something to do with being deprived from love. Hahaha.

And some friends say that maybe it's a hint, to rethink of my judgment towards this guy, maybe he isn't that bad after all.


But who knows what it really means? And what am I to do, to stop these dreams from coming back?


I need sleep, but I can't. In fact, I don't want to. So what am I supposed to do?

Goals and Priorities

Whenever I needed time to reflect or come up with ideas, I would take a long, hot bath. It was my "thinking hat" where I gather the day's events and think through what I did, and could have done to make things better. Or simply to think of what I'm going to do next.


Today's bath made me think through about my goals and priorities in Life.

Since young, my plan was to be in the Education System. I wanted to be the unique one, teaching the kids things that textbooks don't teach, things that you learn in Life. And year after year, I grew more into that ambition, mainly thanks to my mum, whom I help whenever she teaches the kids at work. And through her, I got to see how teachers ( her colleagues and herself) use different methods to teach the kids.

One teacher uses a lot of paper. Everything was learned through paper. It was interesting but kids, with short attention spans, always disliked her class.

Then there was another teacher. She used songs and stories to teach the kids. It was really interesting, but the kids, some of them, had no idea what the teacher was talking about, and so , I guess they tuned out.


Then there was my mum. What I liked about her class, whenever I had the chance to sit in, was that every lesson, she would definitely involve the kids.

One of the memorable lessons was about sea creatures. She made turtle shells from cardboard, fish scales from the perforator and claws from papier-mâché for the kids. She and the kids then wore them and together they swam like a fish, walked like a crab and glided like a sea turtle, on the floor. This was of course accompanied by a made-up story that she created as they played along.

This inspired me as I noticed how much the kids were enjoying themselves. I wanted to be just like her.


And over the years, I grew more and more in love with the passion to teach. And this inspiration pushed me further into wanting to teach the special needys.


I wanted to follow that dream, but as I grew older, one of the greatest sin of all, Sloth took a liking to me. It was only attracted to me whenever I was studying, but left me alone when I was in sports or other things that I liked. Thus, my studies were affected. This phase of Life, was the one I hated the most, because my cousins from my dad's side were always comparing their results with me. It was agonizing, and I hated their visits.

I was spurred to prove that I was intelligent and I could score good grades. I forced myself to study day in and day out, till one day, I could'nt take it anymore. I stared blankly and I questioned myself, which was more important, proving them wrong and stressing myself out, or simply be who I wanted to be. And I chose the latter.

Some of you may think that it's stupid and stuff to choose to "slack" more than study, but I guess I just can't force myself hard enough to study. As most of my friends say it, I have a very much "bo-chap" attitude. It may be bad for some things, and good for others. But this is one choice I will never regret.

My mum sometimes blames herself for being the one who did not push me and my brothers hard enough in our studies. That was why my dad disappointed in us, who always lost academically to my cousins.

But my brothers and I always thanked her for not pushing us, as this bonded us closer than any other families I know. Besides, what's the point of having good education, when you have sucky attitude and no respect for others?

Well, I still do push myself for the things I want, but if I can't get, I wouldn't be devastated. Because, maybe it's just not meant for me.

But nevertheless, I'll still work towards my dream, and that is to be an Educator.


I then shifted to the priorities in my Life; Family, Education, Career, Friendship and Love.

It's funny how some teens till now, have this ridiculous mindset of "I'll love him/her forever and ever. I'll die because I can't live without him/her. My life's worthless without him/her".

It always cracked me up because these were mere words that you say in attempt for the other party to feel touched. Come on, can't live without that person? Then how did you live your life before you knew that person?

And Life being worthless without that person? Well, pity your mum who had to go through 9 months of labour to bear you. I mean you wouldn't want her efforts of bringing you up, go to waste isn't it? If you disagree, then you're an ass.

I am someone who believes in Love. But I think at my age, it seems more like puppy love than true love. I don't think I would have the time, effort and willingness to bother, to be in a relationship. Unless someone can change my mind, Love's going to be the last.


Family is definitely the first. Who would swop anything or your own flesh and blood?

Friends come next. I know some might think that Education is more important. But to me, friends, especially family friends who go through with me as much as my own family does, mean the most to me.

I know some friendships do not last as long as a couple of years, but I'd like to live it as that, because you never know who might need your help or vice versa.


I just do hope most of my friends become family friends too, so we're inseparable.


The other two are more of an in-between. Have not thought hard enough to find a placing for them.








I'll end this post with something that happened to me a few days back.


M = Me, G = Guy who was distributing something.


Here goes.


A couple of days ago, I was walking around town, apparently meeting someone, and out of the blue, G, popped infront of me. He was held out something to me. I wasn't looking at it, instead I was looking at him, because he looked handsome for a Chinese Guy.

M: Hi, what's this? * Still looking at him*

G: You want cow poon?

M: Huh?

G: You want cow poon?

M: Urh.... * For that moment, I swear it was really awkward*

I then made an attempt to look at what he was holding.

M: Oh! Coupons! Yes, thanks. *Quickly walks away before embarrassing both of us*


This tragedy was the same as the moment I laid eyes on eye candy : Tom Kaulitz from Tokio Hotel. He's hot, but once he starts speaking. Haiyoh, spoils everything. Hahaha.


Bye, and all the best to the 'O' level graduates, tomorrow's the last of the Major papers!



And Happy Anniversary Mum and Dad!

Computer is Down

It's getting harder to update now, not because of the examinations, but because, MY COMPUTER'S DOWN!


No, not literally, down there. But my keyboard has mad, I mean it. My space bar used to jam up pretty often, but now, my whole keyboard is going mad. It always disconnects from the computer, and I have to keep plugging it in every few seconds.


I was on MSN the other day and I got so fed up with it, that I literally copy-and-paste letters into the conversation to form a sentence. It took longer, but it was much less irritating.



Any kind soul can buy me a keyboard? Not the kiddy palace one. hahha.

Festive Season = baking and eating

Despite being in the midst of the 'O' level Examination week, I am busy helping my mum out with the baking of the festive goodies.


Since young, my mum has always asked me to help her out in the kitchen, be it cooking, baking or preparing dishes and drinks for the guests.


I never hesitated at the offer as I loved to see how my mum used the various methods that were passed down from her Peranakan ancestors, to cook. There were so many techniques and beliefs, just to make a simple kueh kueh.


One belief that I find really interesting, was to NEVER have any disbelief in the raising of the cake.


I, being curious, decided to test that belief one day. When my mum was steaming a cake, I said aloud "Why never huat one?I don't think it will loh".


Just then my mum turned vicious and began scolding me in the usual, Peranakan language. She apologized continuously to the cake. But true enough, the cake never did huat.


Now it may seem like a miscalculation in the amount of ingredients used, but believe me, as we tried doing the same cake the next day, with the same amount of ingredients, only that I never said a word. And amazingly, the cake did huat.


But from then on, however, my mum never trusted me and thus, never asked me to help out whenever she was baking any cake.


Now, I only help out in the tedious shaping of cookies, kueh tarts, kueh mahmut(especially this) and biscuits. I am also a tool for taste-testing, a profession very much shared with my dog, who chooses which kueh kueh is nice, and devours it ravenously. And leaves the not so nice ones alone while looking at me in disdain, as though I had purposely given him the bad ones.